cellini's Diaryland Diary

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I Want Victory (also sex)

This is my last weekend of preparation before the scouting trip next week. I need to find my poncho and buy some food.

I've been thinking more about designing a little solo Outward Bound course for myself this autumn. I saw an article in the NY Times (or was it the Post?) today about an OB course for veterans that made me think of it. I took a 3 week Outward Bound course as a teenager. It was good for me. Put some iron in my backbone and so forth. 3 weeks of backpacking in the Smoky Mountains. It rained all but one day. High ropes course, a couple days of rock-climbing and 3 days of white water canoing.

The white water training really served me very well as I have done a lot of paddling since then. The confidence that comes of having repeatedly swam down a class 4 rapid is remarkable. I don't really have to fear falling overboard. They gave us each a helmet and a life jacket and taught us how to shoot down, feet first.

ROTC in college was a good refresher course. I got more land-nav courses (that's what the Army calls orienteering) and ridiculously intense PT at 5 am every morning, 6 days a week. It kept me from getting too soft. I needed that in college.

Now it has been a while since ROTC and I think that it is time to brush off some dusty areas of my own character. The elk hunt is a good start. But I need something a little more challenging than that even. Something that will take me right up to the edge, psychologically. I'm liking this idea of spending a week in the mountains with a day's worth of food. Hunger sharpens the mind in a remarkable way. I mean this in the sense of fasting for purposes of meditation and in the sense of hunger motivating me to work and think and hunt for food with more focus and determination than I would otherwise have.

I think it would be not insane to give myself 7 days to cover 40 miles. Normally this would not be considered much of a hike, being less than 6 miles a day. However, it will be in cold weather in the mountains when there could possibly be snow. Also I would be hunting and gathering food throughout the trip. That takes time and effort away from trail time. Normally one would try to cover 10 miles a day at most with a loaded frame pack. Given the circumstances I think that should be cut by at least 40%.

What I want to demand is that point where the wind is blowing in my face, there's a 70 pound pack on my back and I haven't eaten for a day or 2. I stop to rest in a snowbank and the temptation to just close my eyes and not go any farther is overwhelming. That's what it's all about. Because getting to that point is the only way that I get to pick myself up anyway and cover another mile or 2 before pitching camp, building a fire and then finding something on 4 legs to kill and eat.

I want victory. I want something I can sink my teeth into and walk away from with a pure sense of victory.

Also I am deeply horny today. This is just one of those nice days where someone managed to flip a little switch in my head and I am now 'on.' She's got me all fidgity today.

4:31 p.m. - 2007-08-24

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