cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Slow Food My new contacts finally came in the mail. For the last month or 2 I've been wearing glasses. This is so much better. I got a haircut the same day that I put the new ones in and I feel like a new man. Trish: 'What is that shit they put in your hair? Are you doing some kind of bedhead thing?' Me: The hairdresser was really hot. I wanted to pick her up and take her home with me. Trish: So? Me: So basically I just let her do whatever she wanted to me. Really, I do look wonderful right now. Everyone should try to sleep with me right this instant. [Taps foot impatiently.] Trish has an internet boyfriend. She thinks that I don't know. It's very cute. She clearly has a huge crush on him, but he lives in Canada and there's probably just no way that she's going to get to fuck him. My new book about deer is being laid out right this instant. I still need to see about getting more copies of my duck book, which has been very popular among children between the ages of 1 and 5 living in my house. Should I write another one after this? I suppose that squirrels would be a reasonable topic. I mean, if I'm going to make it be a series of books on animals that children encounter regularly but don't actually know much of anything about. Last night Ida hopped into my bedroom with a notebook and a pen and asked me to draw a brain for her. Ok. Then she wanted a sketch of a human head with the brain in it so she can see exactly where it is. I included the spinal cord, eyeballs and optical nerve. Explanations of the nervous system and function of the brain followed. Then she wanted similar sketches of a deer's head and nervous system. I think she has a pretty good grasp of the fundamentals of neurology for a 4 year old now. We reviewed the functions of the brain, the transmittal of signals from nerve cells in the skin all the way to the brain. The differences between short term versus long term memory and the role of sleep in the brain for the transfer of short term memory into long term memory. We still feel awful about having had to pull her out of school for lack of tuition money. But at least she has been getting some kind of an education from us. Lots of science and geography from me, some reading and writing from Trish. Weekly classes in martial arts, gymnastics, chemistry, ballet and swimming. She could be so much farther ahead in reading, though. I feel awful about it - we haven't put nearly enough effort into teaching her to read and write when she is really very eager and picks it up so quickly. As for math, I fucking hate math and I figure she can get that when she starts Kindergarden. She knows how to count and has the basic idea of addition and subtraction. In other news, I desire all sorts of weird group sex right now. I want to watch Trish get nailed by two guys at once while I'm helping to do the same to another woman. I have a party to go to after work. Well, not exactly a party. A cider tasting. I have a friend who is a very serious hard cider maker. Makes literally hundreds of gallons every year. He's doing some really incredible and important research into different yeast strains and techniques for brewing. There are some people from a big food and drink magazine coming to his house and they wanted him to throw one of his tasting parties in order to cover it. So he invited me. I was the person who tipped him off to using different yeasts in the first place so he thinks that I'm some brilliant cider expert and wants me there with the magazine people. When in fact I know squat about cider, have only ever made it half a dozen times and am really more of a beer expert than anything else. It will be fun. Lots of 'slow food' types there, who are always a hoot. I have found that I have a certain level of credibility in those kinds of gatherings on account of the fact that I do hunt, kill, age and butcher all of my own meat. Hell, I even build the rifle myself sometimes. Now that is some seriously fucking slow food, yeah? 2:38 p.m. - 2008-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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