cellini's Diaryland Diary

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All In It

I had a whole entry that I had written in my head about how everything is turning to shit but then I sat down at my desk this morning and saw a message from that reporter from the New York Times. I called him back and he says that the story is on and he wants to come down here from NYC this weekend to do a story on my class.

Wow. So we sorted out some details. He wants to cover the class on butchering and cooking on Sunday evening AND wants to see a field dressing demonstration on Saturday. Ok, this is tough but I think I can do it.

The problem is that Trish has internet friends coming to visit on Thursday and they are here until Sunday afternoon. I was supposed to be looking after the kids all weekend while she cavorts with these people. So now I need backup and help in a big way. Help with watching the kids and help with getting a deer to field dress.

If I can pull this off, this could be the solution to most of this world of financial shit I find myself in. If this article, with photos, etc., runs in the New York Times then I can get a serious book advance in short order. I know how it works and I realize that I don't get the whole advance right away. Half on delivery of the manuscript and the other half when it actually goes to print. Fine. Whatever. Even a few thousand dollars before Christmas would make a huge difference. I need money desperately. I need heating oil to keep my house warm this winter and I don't know how to pay for it.

Other good things have been happening today. That hot chick from the campaign office spotted me on the mall a few minutes ago, called out my name, and jogged over to say hello.

In short, I am in a really tight financial spot (read: near crisis) but there are fragments of opportunity appearing out of the mist from all directions. This thing with the state biologist and the DNR deer chief making an effort to get in touch with me. More emails from random people every day asking for a place in my next class. The New York Times thing is obviously huge. So I have hope.

Meanwhile, I'm STILL sick. This is the fucking cold from hell. It opened over a week ago with a high fever, appeared to fade, came back with laryngitis and has been pummeling me since then. Saturday night was brutal. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep. I have never had a cold last this long before.

Last night I had a very sad realization as to why I've had the same cold for 9 days. My immune system has been compromised by the fact that I've been getting so little sleep for the last 5 or 6 weeks (waking up in the middle of night, worrying about money) and probably by my increasingly poor diet. As the money situation has gotten worse, I've made sure that Trish and the kids still eat properly. But for 1 or 2 meals a day, I am literally living off of the dollar menu at McDonalds. I am not really a fast food kind of guy. Its just that its the only way I can eat something for lunch for $1.18, tax included.

I made a batch of venison jerky over the weekend (which I forgot to bring to work with me). I think maybe if I make a fuck ton of venison jerky I can keep that in a desk drawer at work and eat it for lunch for a while. Which would be not only free but a lot more healthy than the shit I've been forced to live off of for the last 3 weeks.

My friend who is running for Governor has his big day tomorrow. Election day. I'm volunteering for him tonight after work. I just left the office for about an hour in the middle of writing this entry and saw him at the campaign office a few minutes ago. I said to him, "you're doing a good job and its going to be ok." Kind of simple, but I think its exactly what he needed to hear. The guy has won tougher races than this. The outgoing Governor, who is also an acquaintance of mine, told me today that when he ran in 2005 his internal polling showed him just as far behind as my friend is today. But he won anyway.

The whole political career that I started and then walked away from is still there for me if I want it, I think. I thought about running for a minor office this year but decided not to, mostly on account of being so horribly broke. When I get back on my feet financially I would like to reconsider that.

I have hardly talked to Jenny in ages. I don't know if she's avoiding me or what. I miss her.

12:57 p.m. - 2009-11-02

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