cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Success, and The Sadness of Things Item the first: I now officially have a big-deal literary agent. Contracts are signed. Item the second: My NYC Sl0w F00d thing is totally official and booked for next month. They have booked a restaurant and people are signing up and here I am. Here I am. Here I am with a book agent and I'm booked for a workshop in NYC for Sl0w Food and a news crew coming from Germany in a few weeks and a documentary on HB0 this summer and... Holy fuck. I did it. I really did it. Item the 3rd: I am in San Juan, Puerto Rico right now. I've been here for a few days now. THIS IS WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED. I feel a continuum between this, my trip to Germany and Austria last year, and most importantly my trip to the Yucatan when I was 16 years old. I travel. I TRAVEL. I have been waiting for this all of my life. Its not just about being in San Juan right now. Its about the commitment that I have made to traveling regularly. This is the life that I wanted. Since I was 15 years old. To travel and to write books. And I have it. But the thing that breaks my heart a little bit is the fact that I have it alone. Trish doesn't understand. I even offered to take her with me on this trip, and she declined. She just... She doesn't understand. She doesn't understand why I need to go back to Chichen Itza. She doesn't understand why I still need to go to Macchu Picchu. Or go hiking in Romania, or any of it. I have been fucking thrilled to take these trips in the last 6 months or so. To Germany, NYC and Puerto Rico and wherever else I have been that I am failing to mention. But its like being 16 again. Wonderful on the one hand, but at times so horribly alone. I want someone to travel with, and she won't be that someone. I lay in bed, alone, absolutely fucking desperate for someone to be here with me. 10:51 p.m. - 2010-02-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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