cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fumes My new definition of poverty is being hungry and financially unable to do anything about it. Like right now. I attended a book promotion workshop this morning. It was ok but basicaly nothing that I hadn't already figured out. There was a speaker there who managed to do more or less the same thing that I'm trying to do and it was nice to see how it can pay off. The combination of books, speaking engagements and other events to put an income together. There was one fucking ridiculous moment where the instructor said "of course, obviously none of us are in this for the money. We're in it for the book and for our art." And I fucking started to crack up before uncomfortably realizing that everyone else in the room was nodding solemnly.
I hate to whine, but on the other hand that is what this is for. It's my fucking diary, yeah? Keeping up in these two worlds is mentally and emotionally exhausting. for a few hours I have to act like the promising young author and speaker that I am, with TV options and publishers courting him and workshops scheduled in interesting cities. And then I walk out of wherever I am and am faced with the reality of only having a quarter tank of gas and being FUCKING STARVING and there's no money at all to eat with. You can ignore a lot of things. Hunger isn't one of them. Being literally painfully hungry all day long because you don't have any money to eat with is not something that can be pushed aside. Biologically it demands one's full attention. As hard as it is to make publicity and events happen and to fill up classes and schedule workshops and write books, it is ten times fucking harder when you are painfully hungry and cannot concentrate on anything. I've stopped exercising for the last couple of weeks because I can't afford to replace the calories I burn. I really am running on fumes here. I can see the finish line and everything that is waiting for me but I'm almost literally out of gas. 2:23 p.m. - 2010-03-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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