cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Changes Most of this past weekend was spent doing yard work and property maintenance. Mowing, weedeater, clearing brush and pruning trees. While I was doing this I thought about what is going to happen if my TV show gets picked up. I'm trying to be realistic about this whole thing. I like doing work on my property. I like pruning trees and planting things. But if this show gets picked up then for the duration I will not get to do that sort of thing any more. I don't actually have any desire to be famous. It sounds like a pain in the ass. I don't have any illusions about riding around in limos with a bottle of champagne and flashbulbs popping. That isn't something that I want. Having this show would be a fuck-load of work. I've been warned about this by the producers. Literally, this could mean working 16 hour days for weeks on end without a day off. That's what a serious production schedule can be like once a show is picked up for a full season. Plus I'd be doing work before we even start shooting, since they want me to take on the co-production role I had wanted anyhow. Working with the writers, researching and scouting locations (I would actually have to do this - the topic of the show is such that I'd be the only one qualified for that end of things), finding local experts to work with and arranging to get them on camera to decide which ones will be good on the show. Then once it starts airing I'd also have to be doing promotion. Interviews and personal appearances and all of the things that help make the launch of a new TV show successful. I won't get to mow the lawn anymore. I won't be digging holes and planting trees. I won't be replacing water heaters and building roofs. Some of this, I will miss. A good compromise would be to do this with full intensity for 2 or 3 years and then stop, assuming that I don't get canceled before then. So long as we don't get carried away and try to live like movie stars then I can bank enough money to set us up for a long time. Build a new house on my land and buy a couple of better cars with the money from the first season, paying the bills with income from book advances and speaking engagements and that sort of thing. Then next year I'd plow most of the TV money into paying off as much of my mortgage as possible. The third year, I would put most of it into savings. At that point I'd be in a position to stop doing a regular show. With a nice house and no mortgage, I wouldn't need much income. Writing, speaking and teaching and maybe doing a little bit of TV (specials, documentaries and DVDs here and there) would provide plenty of money without having to be gone so often. No loans, for cars or anything else. We don't need to go out and buy a new Mercedes or anything like that. A used sedan for Trish for, like, $10k or whatever, and a used pickup truck for about the same money would be fine. My arms hurt a lot from the work I was doing yesterday. My left elbow is especially sore. One of the weird things to get used to has been the random criticism from dipshits. Looking at comments in response to interviews and articles about me, it is so tempting to get in there and rebut all of them. But I realized that there is no sense to this. It is the inevitable result of becoming known. There is always going to be some small percentage of the population that will hate you if they get the opportunity to stare at you for long enough. There is no point to trying to argue with all of them. I am exhausted. My eyes are closing at my desk here. I woke up at about 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep because I was worrying about money and about my book contract and about my next weekend class. By 4:10 am I gave up, showered, got dressed and came in to work. This desk. This office. It will all be gone. I won't miss the desk, because the height is such that the ergonomics are bad and I think it makes my elbows worse. But in a way I will miss this place. I've worked with my father here for the last 11 years. 11 years was long enough. I gave a lot to this business. A pretty big chunk of my life. Years ago I wanted to quit, but didn't because I knew that I was needed and it felt wrong to leave. Now I know that things will work out and they will be better off right now not having to come up with my salary. This is going to be a strange couple of months until enough money has come in that I can quit. Everyone pretty well knows that I'm not going to be here much longer. Its obvious. But nobody talks about it openly. __________________________________
Here is how it will probably happen. They will invite us over to their place rather than us meeting in town. After dinner and a certain number of drinks have been consumed, Mary will laughingly suggest that she put on some really great porn DVD just to show us whatever. And then we will begin ironically watching pornography together, until everyone is un-ironically aroused and 'stuff' starts happening. Seriously, this will probably go down like I described. I could just feel the vibe the other night. And Trish will go for it, because she really likes both of them in the way that is necessary for her to want to actually fuck someone. 11:54 a.m. - 2010-04-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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