cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Being Cellini The short version of the pilot is done! I finally got to watch it yesterday. It is really weird seeing myself on a TV show. It turned out really well. Work on the new book is finally happening in a serious way. I pounded out almost a full chapter in the space of 3 hours the other night. Mary and F. are having a sort of big marital crisis and somehow I have gotten dragged into it against my will. Trish has been having daily hour-long conversations with Mary about the whole thing and I finally got hit with it as well. I just got off the phone from a 90 minute long conversation with her about this. Shit I did not need to hear includes: "I've been thinking a lot about what might have happened with other men I've known in the past and what the sex would be like now. Especially with someone I've known for a long time and have seen a lot lately." Followed, 5 minutes later with: "...and you and Trish are really the only people who I've been hanging out with lately." And then shortly with: "I guess that I started questioning whether I should really be with F. when you found me and got in touch with me this past year, and I saw how you just decided exactly what kind of life you wanted to create and stuck with it and did the work and now you made your passion into your life." Point being that her desire to leave her husband is being set squarely at my feet. Mary is great and all, but her husband also happens to be an extremely good friend of mine. If he wasn't, then I'd just say whatever. I had to get her off the phone so I could do laundry and stuff and the only way I could think of was to invite her to meet me later today for a drink downtown. Oh boy. What the fuck was I thinking? Here's my basic analysis of the situation: Trish is in love with Mary (no seriously, she is. She even says "I love you" to Mary on the phone when she thinks I can't hear.) Mary thinks she's in love with me when really she's just unhappy with F. Meanwhile I think that F. is oblivious to all of this. The lucky bastard. Would it be neat to have sex with Mary? Sure. But I am not going to do that to F., who would probably kill himself or something. Nor would I do that to Mary, since I would potentially end up breaking her heart. Because I would not even for a moment consider a romantic or long-term sexual relationship with her. She is kinda hard-core and crazy and has a serious temper at times and a bit of a violent past. She used to steal cars and beat people up at punk concerts in DC. She worked as a professional dominatrix for a few years. Now she's sweet as sugar but the animal lurks just under the surface. She is great as a friend but I think that as anything more it would be too much for me to deal with. This reminds me slightly of the love triangle in 'Being John Malkovich.' I have 77 unread emails right now and I have to meet Mary in town in 45 minutes. Fuck. I have too much work right now to be dealing with this drama or getting drunk in the middle of the day, which is surely about to happen. 12:58 p.m. - 2010-10-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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