cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man-Crushes Are Icky Sunday was interesting. My sister's friends, F. and Emma, came down from NYC to hang out for a few days. I've written about them before, following a night of debauchery some months ago that involved the 4 of us getting absolutely trashed at some huge party in a former Chinese massage parlor somewhere in Chinatown. Emma worked with my sister, naming things. F., her fella, is some sort of a junior pup lawyer. Essentially I was there to put on the usual show, which I don't mind doing for my sister. After brunch at my parents' place we went outside and I taught them how to shoot. Then I decided to take F. squirrel hunting for a few hours. He missed every single shot with the .22 rifle I loaned him but he seemed to have a good time anyway. He certainly learned quite a lot. I hope he's happy, because I usually charge two hundred bucks for an afternoon like that. 'Man-crushes' are icky. I mean from other straight men. If a gay man is into me, I actually don't mind at all. It is open, fawning admiration from other heterosexual men that I find awkward and a bit sad. On a number of occasions I have had male friends and acquaintances literally confess to having a 'man crush' on me. For fuck's sake, if it must be that way then at least have the decency to keep it to yourself. I never set out to be some kind of John Wayne figure. Capt. Sir Richard Francis Burton, perhaps. Not that anyone even seems to know who Burton was anyone. In fact, right from the start with this whole thing I really tried to make a point of having it all be pointedly *not* a macho thing. I enjoy having women as students and would like to do my part to create more female hunters. I've tried to make what I do be more about the food and ecology aspects of it all. The guns and the shooting and the tracking and occasionally running down prey on foot and killing it with my bare hands were all supposed to be simply means to an end. I thought that in this age and in this culture I would if anything have to be apologetic about that part of it. Yet I keep running into this weird fawning behavior from other men and I'm just not comfortable with it. Now if women acted that way, that would be all right. Either they just don't give a shit or maybe I'm just as clueless about their intentions as I've always been. 11:41 a.m. - 2010-11-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||