cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I get to have a girlfriend Blah blah blah stupid email. 'I'm doing a report on blah blah and was wondering if I could ask you 500 questions about food and aminals and my scrotum.' Jesus. The flow of this shit is just endless. I don't actually have anything against any of these people. Its just the raw sum of it all is so overwhelming. AND NONE OF THEM ARE OFFERING BLOWJOBS. All I do is cook and deal with email lately. I've been exploring the wide world of vegetables recently. Also I'm watching lots of X Files this weekend. I started with season 2, episode 1 and I'm trying to get through the end of season 2 before dawn. Trish is still in DC. Until tomorrow evening. I sense that she is trying to backtrack a little bit. As if the last 6 weeks and change never happened. Well, they did. She made her big teary announcement that she was gay, apologized for having been 'inadequate,' announced that she was leaving me. Then I suggested that we could both do as we pleased and just have an open marriage. She can be gay or whatever she wants without worrying about whether she is pleasing me or cheating on me or missing out on something. So we did that. I went extraordinarily out of my way for her. I helped her wrote her fucking CL ads. She emailed random people every day about having sex with them. She went out to fuck strangers and I stayed at home, cheerfully, to look after the kids while she was out late. And as it turned out, she didn't want just women. She wanted a little bit of everything. She found pairs of guys and requested that they fuck her two at a time. She found couples. She fucked a 21 year old chick who looked like a model while I was on my trip to GA. They met for coffee, chatted for half an hour, and then Trish kissed her and dragged to the couch and fucked her senseless. Did I ever once complain? No I did not. My only gripes were when she was lying about what she was doing. It wasn;t what she did - just the lies. She sucked some dude's cock in a parking lot 15 minutes after meeting her. Fine, bon appetit. But don't lie about it. Also the time she drove some place 90 minutes away to get fucked up the ass without a condom by some random guy in a hotel room. That was just a waste of gas money. Yes, I was a good sport about all of it. Always congratulatory and helpful. Then I came home from GA and she announced that she is now done with her experimentation. Ok, whatever. Good for you. Meanwhile, she still won't give me a blowjob. Random strangers get them in parking lots but I get...? So as far as I'm concerned, she can play or not play but the marriage is still open. She has wisely chosen not to press the point. Rather than fucking everything that moves (not that I have anything against doing that - I think its great), I've chosen to pick a few people I'm interested in and pursue things with them. Mostly with Heather. What I want is a steady secondary relationship that isn't hidden from Trish. She doesn't want to give me head? Fine, Heather is happy to. And for all of those times when Trish refuses to come to a party or concert with me, Heather can be there. I'm only looking to fill in what Trish chooses to refuse me. I've thought about it and this is just non-negotiable. After everything that Trish got up to since New Year's Eve and everything that she put me through, the idea of my not getting to do *anything* and just going back to normal is both absurd and insulting. I get to have a girlfriend. End of discussion. 7:09 p.m. - 2011-02-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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