cellini's Diaryland Diary

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Oh

I keep logging into FB chat even though I don't want to. Solely because I'm waiting for Jordan to chat me. Which she often does. But meanwhile I keep getting chatted by random dipshits while I'm waiting for Jordan.

This guy Daniel chatted me last night. He is interminably dull. I know him in high school and was good friends with his brother. I couldn't fucking get rid of him.

Then my cousin chatted me at the same time. My cousin Patrick, whom I didn't see or talk to from when he was about 3 years old until my grandfather's funeral this past summer. Patrick is fucking awesome. Really good guy and a very accomplished fisherman. He just got a commercial fishing license and has a 30 foot boat to take out in MA on the ocean. I'm going to get back up there some time this summer to go fishing with him.

Yeah, Jordan. I can't stop thinking about her. This is weird. I'm not usually into women that young. If this goes anywhere then I'm going to get my heart broken. She has cancer in her eyes. She's not going to live more than 5 years or so. And she isn't expecting to. This woman is going to die. Either the cancer will spread to her brain and kill her or she will commit suicide before she loses her sight and approaches death.

Trish has taken the whole thing with her well. I informed her that I am now helping Jordan and that I'm also kind of into her and she has been pretty much ok about it.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? She is a terminal cancer patient desperate for help. I can't not help her.

My plans for this epic canoeing trip are developing more. I have another magazine to pitch the article to.

I'm going to be only the 3rd person ever in history known to have paddled the whole of this river at one go. Camping on islands every night, never leaving the river for 2 or 3 weeks and getting as much food from the river as possible. This is not just a 'trip' to me. It is an expedition. I look at this as a natural progression from the 3-4 day paddles that I used to take.

I am approaching this Roosevelt-style. This is a great adventure that I am undertaking as something that naturally ought to fall to me in the ordinary course of things. Many thousands of men and at least a few women certainly wish that they were doing this. I've been dreaming of doing this since I was about 7 or 8 years old.

9:58 p.m. - 2011-02-27

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