cellini's Diaryland Diary

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I'm Probably Just Going to Kill Myself.

Huge logging trucks drive past this house about four times every hour. I could stand there by the road and step out in front of one. That would probably be the simplest way to go. There is no way that one of those things could stop in time.

I just can't live like this any more. And I don't see any way out of this. I just want it all to stop. I can't sleep. Everything has completely fallen apart. All of my work has been completely pointless. Nobody gives a fuck about saving endangered species in the Caribbean or anywhere else. My children will be better off being raised by relatives with more money. I don't know how to eat tomorrow. I can't even drive to town to buy more groceries, even if they were free.

When was the last time I even talked to other people? I don't remember. I can't really leave the house anymore, with no transportation or money.

I can't do this any more. I don't have anything left to live for. I want it to stop. The only way to make it stop now is to die. I want to die. I want to die now.

9:59 p.m. - 2011-04-11

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