cellini's Diaryland Diary

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Always On My Mind

J. She is nothing special, if I'm going to be honest. But she is interested in me. She flirts with me and emails me and wants to see me again.

Oh, she is married. Which I suppose is part of the attraction. Firstly just because something off-limits is hot. Then because I would prefer that if I have something going on then it ought to be with someone who has an incentive to stay on the low-down.

Her husband is fat and soft and boring.
He does some sort of retarded IT support shit. Snore. I feel sort of bad for him really. He's doing all he knows how and unwittingly he is competing with a man who writes books about fighting alligators and diving with sharks and so forth. Thats fine. I don't want to steal his wife, just fuck her.

Her working hours are odd, like mine. We're meeting for drinks the evening after tomorrow. She has very nice tits. I'm pretty sure that we're going to fuck when we meet next, except of course for the fact that I'm an idiot. I never know quite for sure if a woman is interested in me and generally depend on her taking me by the hand and doing whatever needs to be done.

In theory I'm told that I'm supposed to be very desirable. Being young and supposedly attractive and in decent shape and being slightly famous and having this really interesting career and writing books and shit. In practice, none of this has ever done me the slightest bit of good. The few women whom I have really, really wanted (and still want) didn't seem to give a shit. The upside is that unrequited love seems to make for really great writing material.

Maybe she's reading this right now. Everything I've done in the last year was with her as my inspiration.

2:12 a.m. - 2011-06-27

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