cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girlfriend My shitty three grand expense check came from my publisher today. Trish is already trying to take the money to piss away on various retarded things. I think that I am literally going to withdraw all of it as cash tomorrow in order to keep it out of her thieving hands. I would say that literally about 70% of every dime I have ever made from writing books was pissed away by her on god knows what. Money that I need to cover the expenses of writing the fucking book. In this case I have to do a LOT of traveling still over the next month. At least 6,000 miles of driving and possibly as much as 8,000. Zig-zagging all over the United States. Doing this on $3k is almost impossible as it stands, let alone if I let her run through $2,000 in the next 3 days as she is trying to. I would find myself completely unable to deliver the book to my publisher if she gets her hands on any of this money. My travels in the next 6 weeks will take me to Illinois, Florida, West Virginia and possibly to the Texas Hill Country. In a few days I'm flying to Utah, which doesn't really count because I'm only going there for a few days to speak at a conference. I remain fantastically lonely and isolated and horny. Yesterday or the day before I went to a 4th of July thing and got recognized and that was interesting. Everyone very interested in what I'm doing and asking for this and that. There was this chick named Sabrina who it turned out I had met before. Actually, that is sort of a funny story. I was at a party a few months ago at my friend Kevin's house and I was outside talking to some people and there was this young woman who heard me talking to someone and said "hey are you XXXXXXX XXXXXXX?" She knew all about me and was a fan or whatever you want to call it. And I ended up hanging out with her and talking to her for the next hour or so until her friend insisted that she had to go home. But the funny part is that I never really got a good look at her. It was dark and there was a bright light back behind where she was sitting so I only saw her silhouette (which is still a hard word to remember how to spell). I knew that she wasn't terribly overweight but I couldn't tell if she was pretty or not. Anyway, afterward I couldn't recall her name but I knew that she worked at a particular winery and vineyard. So there I am at this 4th of July thing close to where that winery is and I find myself talking to a group of people who were fans and this really hot chick says "do you remember me at all?" So I sized her up for a moment, recalled that the winery in question was right down the street, and took a wild shot in the dark (so to speak) and said that I thought we had met at a party at Kevin's a while ago. Which isn't a bad guess in any event. Bingo! We talked for a while and she kind of flirted with me and then this morning she friended me on Facebook. Now I'm totally perving over her photos. Um. I really want to have sexual intercourse with her, in case that was unclear. The thing is that its hard to get laid when one is broke. I have to put a higher priority on providing for my children's basic needs. I can't go out socially very often. I don't have money for dates. I usually couldn't even afford the gas to go into town and meet someone for sure-thing sex. There are truly a number of prospects out there for me. Probably there are at least half a dozen local women whom I could have sex with in the next 4 days if I really really tried and if I had the money to go out and have a good time. But the problem is that I'm a fucking idiot who decided to stay with his fat lesbian wife after she came out of the closet and she spends all of my fucking money every single fucking month on her own priorities; while I'm not getting laid AT ALL. Being famous? Being in the news all the time? Saving the fucking world? Writing books? IT HAS NO POSITIVE IMPACT ON MY SEX LIFE. Whatsoever. I have no sex life, whatsoever. I'm literally married to an overweight, unemployed lesbian. I just want a girlfriend. Ok? That's all. This is not so much to ask of the universe. I work very hard. I subject myself to terrible physical dangers in order to write the books that I do and to save endangered species. I have kept myself in good shape and I'm reasonably good looking. Can I please just have a girlfriend? Can someone please just show up and insert herself into my life? 9:01 p.m. - 2011-07-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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