cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Into the Fire Its very frightening to her. I forget sometimes how different I am from most people. Probably her reaction to what is happening is more normal. Helenah finds herself suddenly dropped into the plot of a film, both literally and figuratively. A beautiful young Swedish woman in a strange country, madly in love with a famous hunter and author whom she has only just met; dragged suddenly into every detail of his life and career. In between bouts of sweaty sex that last for hours on end, she becomes his personal secretary even while she is making a documentary film about him; all the while forced to keep the affair a secret lest her film have its plug pulled by her University. Personally, I'm fine with it all. I have an approach to life which insists that I swallow the worm as well as the tequila. But Helenah is scared shitless. She's terrified. She's never been through anything like this before. She's a nice girl from a small town on the eastern coast of Sweden. Being madly in love with me doesn't make this easier for her -- it makes it harder. Everything that I do is very intense to her. She describes me as a very intense person, which is not how I think of myself. I don't leave things up to other people and I do not hesitate to take on big, important tasks suddenly, wholly, and without warning. I am trying to be patient and understanding. But she needs to jump into the fire. Isn't the alternative more terrifying? Spending the rest of her life wondering 'what if'? I saw a bunch of episodes of the new Dr. Who series years ago. This reminds me of that show. Like, come on lady. Get into the fucking Tardis already. And yes, she does have one foot in. We talk every day and spend a few nights together each week and fuck the shit out of each other and we're going to Texas together next week. But she's holding back. I don't want her to hold back anything. I want both of us all in it. 2:25 a.m. - 2011-10-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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