cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And Led Zepplin &shit It was a long drive to my job today but it went well. This was another fan job. My real-name identity and blog has a lot of fans and I get fan mail and shit what with the book and all and increasingly my students and clients consist largely of fans who basically just want to hang out with me for a day. This is actually ok with me now. It was kind of weird at first but I'm now cool with it. Its just always dudes. Always these dudes between the ages of about 30 and 45. They are better in person than they are via email. In email they get all weird and fawning and talk about me being their hero and stuff. I never know what I'm supposed to say to that. I'm probably too accessible. It would be better for them and for me if they didn't have a simple way of getting in touch with me. Even from their perspective, how can these guys feel about themselves after such an email exchange? I mean, at least the heterosexual ones. It is one thing to fawn at a distant idol and quite another thing to fawn at someone who turns out to be a real human being who responds. Now if they are gay and they know it, then I think it would be much easier for them. They can be comfortably in love with me. From afar. I can't bitch about it too much because I deliberately created this situation. Over a year ago I set out to deliberately fill a gap in popular culture that was vacant. While I haven't exactly become a household name I have a following of some thousands of frustrated middle aged men who all probably own 'Fight Club' on DVD and who see me as a blend of Tyler Durden and Ernest Hemingway. Now there is a whole mythology coming together as these other articles and things come out. The big piece in Men's Journal should be out any minute now. That will be huge. Then the other magazine article in February. And that episode of the Perenn1@l Pl@ate that I guested in is going to be out soon. Plus the documentary film about me. None of these things is exactly false. Everything that they describe actually happened. But is it all really me? I dunno. I make an effort to live up to it all. Anyway, these guys want to spend a day hanging out with and feeling like we're best friends. And the really cool thing is that every single time I have liked them. I have yet to show up for one of these things and dislike the students or client. Sometimes we stay in touch afterward. They really seem to get a lot out of the day. I'm like the best friend or brother that they wish that they had; who shares all of their interests and can teach them whatever they want to know, but won't look down at them for not knowing something. Today, I should have charged extra for mileage because I had to drive a long way. But it was still a good day. Then I came home and listened to Led Zepplin REALLY REALLY LOUD for hours. 11:56 p.m. - 2011-12-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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