cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lay Low and be Famous I got to sleep ridiculously late last night considering that I had a radio tour starting at 6:45 am the next morning. This was on account of having to deal with the bear situation last night. Skinning and butchering when I least expected it. Today I did 14 different radio interviews. Some taped, some live. I was impressed at home many of the hosts had actually read my book and could quote from it. I also had, bizarrely, two separate articles about me that ran on Pr3vention M@gazine's website today. One was supposed to be in 0rg@nic Gardening magazine but ended up in Pr3vention, presumably because R0dale owns both. The awesome video of the pigeon thing still hasn't gone live and I don't understand why. Today it was settled. I am famous now. When you have two articles about you in Pr3vention right after getting a full page in TIME and you do 14 radio interviews that day and you have more the next day and a TV appearance coming up and you just came back from speaking gigs out of state and you have two books highly ranked on Amazon at the same time, then you are famous. I don't know when I crossed the line, but the line is crossed. The point has come where interviewers find a certain currency in trumpeting my fame. In their introductions they kept harping on other prestigious media outlets that had covered me, and being very expansive about the importance 0of my work. In a way, it was really more of a way of puffing up their own importance. Bragging about how they had landed this very important person for an interview. Its good and its bad. It is good because it should help book sales and generally steer income and opportunities toward me. But it is bad in the sense that it all makes me poison for anything else. Who would ever hire me now for anything unconnected to my fame? Fucking nobody. And I need money so desperately. Fame does not pay. There is no 'hey you're famous, have a million dollars' fairy who comes around and taps you on the forehead with her wand. I couldn't get a regular day job now if my life depended on it -- which it very well might. Who would hire me? Anyone with half a brain would figure that I'm not going to last more than a few months before someone offers me a TV show or I get another book deal or something and then I'd be off to live the famous life again. Which is absolutely the case. So how the fuck am I supposed to survive the next few months? The hard benefits of fame are very, very few. I wonder what happened to D@vid M@dden. And the other people whom I knew at that age who were creating things worth bothering with. I can't find them. I've looked and I can't find them. But I don't want to be the only one who can be found via mainstream ways. Fuck. Not after what I've been through. I want to lay low. 9:57 p.m. - 2012-09-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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