cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Map to Go Home This past week I figured that my contract with Sm1ths0nian M@gazine was going to end. It is about to hit the one-year renewal. My stock rose and they gradually paid me more over the course of the year. On top of that, I went way the fuck off of the reservation during the last few months by pitching documentaries to the Sm1th0nian Channel based on stories I stumbled across while working on articles for the magazine. The Channel is a separate entity and I won't bore you with the details of how these organizations relate to each other. But suffice to say that I found stories that should be told on camera and I partnered with experienced TV producers to put together pitches for series that went through the official Sm1ths0nian Ass0ciates liason with the Channel. But I didn't check it all out with each museum's PR department and everyone else who would have liked to be consulted. In some cases, that process would have slowed the project down enough that it couldn't happen (item no longer on loan, etc.). I have a lot of experience in doing TV and film shit. Mostly things that never paid me a dime, but I know how that world works. Anyway, I've been running around sort of misbehaving and trying to get these documentaries made when my actual status in this organization is just some nobody freelancer, who also happens to have done a lot of TV and has written some very important books and lectures at important institutions. So when over two weeks went by without a new assignment from the magazine, I assumed that I was being cut out. Then two days ago I got an email from my primary editor at Sm1th0nian saying that she apologizes for being bogged down in a lot of things, and that they would like me to start writing reviews of travel books in addition to my other duties, and that I am now being added to the magazine's masthead. Wow! They are adding me to the masthead as a contributor along with P@ul Ther0ux. You don't do that with someone you are firing. You do that with someone whose work you value and want to brag about including. So right when I thought I was out, I'm back in with interest. And it means a hell of a lot to me. I have been freelancing for the last four years or so. I've never worked in a newsroom or been staff for any magazine. Being included in the masthead for a magazine with the stature of Sm1th0nian is a pretty fucking big compliment. This Friday is also a pretty big fucking deal. I'm lecturing at Sm1thoni@n. That is a life-long resume item right there. In practical terms, I need to financially nudge things along until one of my shows starts production shortly. I created this thing called F00d F1ghts and wrote about 10 episodes for development. A whole lot of research. We got a celebrity chef to host. This guy named R0y Ch01. Just signed FINALLY a few weeks ago. After about three weeks of waiting, when honestly we were going to say yes to anything he wanted in that contract. All he had to do was ask. So Roy signed. And if you look him up, you'll see that this pretty much means that the show gets bought. And I get a percentage of every episode that gets made, because I created it. Shit. Here is how the math works. I wrote an article for Thr1ll1st that this show is based on. I researched the two claimants that say that they invented the Fr3nch D1p sandwich and figured out who was lying and who was telling the truth. This became the basis for F00d Fights. Finding iconic foods and deciding which story is real, and then taste-testing the claims. The creator of a show is entitled to a percentage of every episode filmed. That gets negotiated. It is typically some number of "points." Percentage points of the whole budget. Anywhere from one to three. Three being really at the high end. So let's say that I get one point. This show, with a celebrity chef hosting it, can be expected to have a budget of about $600,000 per episode. A typical season has 13 episodes. 1% of that for one season is $78,000. And if the show keeps going, I would continue to get that $78,000 per season even if I do absolutely nothing else in terms of work. I can live very comfortably for a year and a half on $78,000. Now here's the rub. The production company, which I have a lot of projects going with, is trying to say that I am "below the line" on F00d Fights. Uh, no. I wrote the article that this show is based on; I worked on the development of that idea into a show; and I wrote the sample episodes of the show that got Roy to sign and are being used to solicit bids from networks. They have already asked me to come out to LA for six weeks to work on pre-production. A reasonable rate for that would be about $3k per week, plus the production company providing my housing while I'm in LA. To some real extent, I am a feather in their cap. Normally research for a show like this would be conducted by some 22 year old intern. Whereas I am an award-winning journalist who lectures and does research for The Sm1th0nian Institution. That status had more than a little to do with signing R0y Ch0i and enticing networks to bid. They *have* needed me. So I have to push to be above the line, while hopefully maintaining my below-the-line job on pre-production. $78,000 above the line for the first season, plus $18,000 below the line sounds pretty good to me. A total of $96,000 would be fucking amazing for one season of work on a TV show. But meanwhile, I need to buy gas and groceries and Christmas presents. And this shit is as hard as it has ever been. Well, shit. So I have to try to exist for the next few months while all this unfolds. I don't think that I am asking for anything unreasonable. I just want to go home. I want to make a physical space that I can make feel like phone for a year or so. I want to go home. I want to go home.
11:24 p.m. - 2016-12-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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