cellini's Diaryland Diary

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Now I have to write this stupid book

What a weird spot I am in right now with all of the post 8/12 fallout.

Everyone is asking all of these big questions about the pair of government reports that have been released. Community groups and politicians and activists. And my name is all over everything. They invoke my name, my questions, my film and my ongoing investigations and lawsuit.

I seem to be the only thing that they all agree on. They expect me get them the truth and to write some sort of definitive history of what happened.

Almost all of these people have been at least briefly pissed off at me for my reporting in the past, but in every case it was because I wrote the truth about something that they would rather not have been said out loud. Now, they are all settling on this idea that I'm their only possible champion.

I have six dollars in the bank right now. How the fuck am I supposed to be anyone's champion with six fucking dollars, less than a quarter tank of gas, and lapsed phone service?

Writing a book on 8/12 is looking more and more like what I'm going to have to do. But that hinges on being able to get a healthy enough book advance to live on for the next year. Realistically, I need at least a $50k advance. Which I think I can get? I'm going to need a new agent. My previous books were on completely different subjects and this is an area of publishing where I basically don't know anyone.

It's just really hard to devote any time and mental energy to dealing with this sort of shit when I have literally six bucks in the bank and no idea how I am going to get gasoline to drive my kids to school for the rest of the week, let alone feed them. There is a whole lot of weight on my shoulders right now with essentially zero resources to allow me to carry it.

11:22 p.m. - 2017-12-12

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