cellini's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEASE KILL ME

Here's how it is: I am going to kill myself a few days ahead of my birthday around July 31st.

Fentanyl is the plan. Right now I'm working on buying more than enough to do the job.

If I can't find a job by July 29th, I'm going to kill myself with fentanyl.

It's good to know there is an end in sight. I get to die. I'm worthless and my work is worthless. If I had any worth, then I would be paid a living wage for the reporting that I do every month on white supremacist groups. Millions of people read this shit, but I get paid almost nothing. Because my worth is nothing. The work that I do has no value. I have no value. My life has no worth and it is long past time for me to kill myself.

Fuck you, you read my shit. I don't give a fuck. You watched my movie. You felt motivated, whatever. Fuck that. Too late. KILL ME. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE.

FUCKING KILL ME.

I just want a home and a place to live and a wife and a dog and a baby and a garden AND FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU that I work and people try to fucking kill me and I don't even that. I don't get a fucking place to live. I don't get a dog or a baby or a wife and just blow my fucking brains out. And fuck this. I don't want to be here any more. And now I have a deadline and I'm going to swallow a whole hell of a lot of fentanyl and I don't want to be here any more. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. I just want to go home and there's no such thing as home anymore. Fuck this. PLEASE KILL ME.


12:58 a.m. - 2018-05-05

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

metonym
mnemosynea
pipersplace
jendix

0 comments so far