cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I want to go home, and it's been deferred again. My move-in date has been pushed back. This crazy woman who owns the house that I am supposed to rent starting this weekend has only set up her appointment to get the trailer hitch on her car installed on Monday. So she can drive down to Florida with a trailer to clear out the clutter from her house. So now I don't know when I am moving in. Tuesday of next week? Wednesday? Thursday? I told the Brazilians that I was moving out of their spare bedroom on Friday or Saturday. So that means that I am spending Friday night through some time next week with Meghan. Too long. She wants far too much of me. She pretty much wants to get married. Head over heels, this one. I can spend a weekend with her and it's fine. I cook for her, take her out for dinner, do some gardening, watch movies with her. But five nights in a row? Maybe more? Bad idea. The main reason why I am dating her at all is that I don't really know anyone else in Gainesville. And I like having someone to cook for, and the gardening is satisfying. We have no interests in common. I routinely forget her name. Also barebacking her vagina is nice. I can shoot load after load of my sperm inside of her. Last weekend I went home and spent Sunday night with my son and with my wife going out and doing things. It was datey for a lot of it. Afterwards, I asked her if we could try doing that again with just the two of us and she said yes. I would like to date my wife. We're supposed to go to Tampa on Friday evening and stay at Meghan's sister's place and see Neko Case. A big step where I meet her family. And then stay the weekend and go out on her sister's boyfriend's boat and shit. I keep telling her that I want to keep things chill and casual. That's why I'm still staying with the Brazilians during the week and only seeing her on the weekends, in spite of having paid her a bunch of money towards her mortgage this month before realizing that living together even temporarily is a bad idea. My movie just got accepted to a big film festival in April. So I have that to look forward to. She offered to let me fuck her asshole last week but I declined because we were drunk and didn't have lube and I think something like that should be prepared for properly for someone who isn't accustomed to it. And then when I stayed with her on Monday night she made this whole big deal about how she was about to let me fuck her up her ass but I wouldn't give her a major commitment. For fuck's sake, your asshole is not a wedding ring. We can do it or not. She likes it now when I rim her. Either taking my cock up her ass is something potentially pleasurable or it isn't. If it isn't, then we shouldn't do it. If it is, then we'll do it. But her rectum is not some sort of stalking horse for long-term commitment. I have fucked women up their assholes, bareback, on the first date, and cum inside of them. This isn't a step towards matrimony. I just want to move into this house and start being my own person again and controlling my own surroundings and cooking and playing music. I have been a temporary person for so long. I just want to exist like a real person. With control over my life and a place to live where there isn't someone else in another room who is actually in charge of the space. I can't live with Meghan for a lot of reasons, but that is one of them. I want to be a real person again. That's what I came here for and took this job for and it has been so many months and I still don't have it, and I'm pissed off that it's been pushed down the road probably almost another week. While I was packing to come back to FL I found a suitcase big enough to stuff a neck from a bolt-on Epiphone 12-string acoustic guitar in diagonally. It came off of a guitar of my father's that folded it's self in half while I was in high school. But I still have the neck and I intend to build a solid body electric around it. I've been waiting for years to have a proper house where I can set up the tools to build that guitar. I'm so close to having that place to live.
10:32 p.m. - 2019-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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