cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Under Siege For months I have been dealing with the effects of an anonymous person claiming through social media that I am a serial rapist who has drugged women in Northern Virginia and raped them. There is no scenario in my past that remotely fits this accusation. I have never spent time in Northern Virginia, never hung out at bars there, and I have never drugged or raped anyone. Nor have I ever engaged in any behavior that could remotely be mistaken for anything like that. This has created a situation where I don't go out at all. I don't go to concerts or drink at bars or socialize. I don't want to deal anymore with these situations where I have to be hassled by people who saw some anonymous post and think that they are a hero. I'm pretty sure that this has to be connected to my civil rights work. Either an alt-right or an antifa extremist setting up sock-puppets. One way or another, I'm fucking sick of Gainesville. I'm ready to go back to Charlottesville, which is full of toxic radicals but at least I have my reputation to protect me. My kids have been visiting for the past week and I've been taking them around to things in town that won't be impacted by this. They are sleeping in this house right now. I'm just done. I'm done with this job, I'm done with this city, I'm done with this state. I'm done with being in Florida. Fuck this. How do I go home? I need a good salaried job in Charlottesville that will set me up with a house and basic income. I found a few things to apply for and now I have to follow through. This chick I started dating right after I arrived is an issue. Meghan. Really not right for me at all. Comes from money, but from money in Alabama. No ass. Former stripper, two DUIs, bad tattoos, admitted to ODing on heroin in her early twenties, couple of abortions, basically a bingo game of 'fuck no.' But she's attached herself to me like a remora to a shark, and I've allowed it because I don't know anyone else here and I'm completely alone here without her. I've been tongue-fucking her asshole since our first night together. And now she's ok with anal with a lot of warmup. And this has all been a very big deal to her. I'm the author/filmmaker/journalist she's been waiting for, I guess. She finds a reason to break up with me every two weeks or so and then she freaks out and wants to get back together. And I go along with it because I don't know anyone else in Florida and I like that I get to suck on her asshole a lot. She technically has a masters degree in public administration but she's nowhere near well enough educated in any field to satisfy me. She doesn't know anything about literature or art or history or ecology or evolution or film or anything that actually matters to me. This poor woman, stuck dealing with some crazy doofus who is into documentary films and ancient history and art; pretending that she cares about the fields that this guy (me) is so passionate about. I like sucking her off. I like making her cum. I like rimming her asshole. I'd like to watch her have sex with the other women whom she experiments with dating, and I'd like to watch her get fucked by those womens' boyfriends. And I like cooking for her. But there is no meeting of equals here. We don't care about the same things and I don't see how this relationship can go anywhere other than my cock up her ass. This place is toxic and I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home. The job and the money aren't worth staying here for anymore. I intend to save as much money as I can from my next few months paychecks and then I'm gonna quit and go home. I have a constant sense of being under siege. When I drive my car, I do little things to throw tails. I turn the key and enter my home slowly, looking for the enemy. I came here to heal. To get better after a year of stalking and attacks from the alt-right. Wrong fucking place for that, holy shit. There's no healing. There's no getting better. Just finding the most advantageous place to fight. 3:20 a.m. - 2019-04-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||