cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christa It turns out that Christa is a very good person. I stuck by her during her messy alcoholic crisis when I had to drive her home. I did this because it felt like the right thing to do and she was there and was a person who needed my help. Now I'm in this situation where I'm dating someone in recovery and I've met her parents and shit. This will go nowhere. She's generous and hard-working and helpful. Christa was super-hot by conventional standards. A little 5'2" blonde fuck-toy. Now she's 32 and has a bit of flab under her chin and she looks like a bit like a troll doll. I am in this stand-in for a relationship because I don't know anyone else in this city and I hate being alone. She understands that this thing has an expiration date of when I start driving home in September. I don't fuck her as much as she would like. That's different for me. I'm not really attracted to her. She's the same size as Helenah. When we fuck, I imagine she is someone else. She has that thing in her vagina where it feels like a weird series of beads and bulbs under a membrane when I finger her. She likes it when I fuck her asshole, but doesn't want to be rimmed and something about her asshole just holds me back from wanting to do it. Her nipples are very small. She likes to be throat-fucked. I don't love her. I mean, I'm not in love with her. Throat-fucking someone I'm not passionate about doesn't hold but so much appeal. We cook together well. She's been a bartender at many important, fancy places. And has pitched in on the line in some of those places. She was a student at the Harvard Extension School and learned some stuff, but ultimately isn't as intellectual or curious as I had hoped. Christa is very good. She cleaned the kitchen unprompted this afternoon. She woke up beside me as I spooned her. Shit, this poor woman hopes this will last forever. It won't. I'm leaving soon. She won't come with me. But I hope I'm leaving her better than I found her. Christa was relapsing and stumbling around as an alcoholic when we met. She's been functional and maintaining her really good job since then. I hope she'd less of a mess when I leave. 1:54 a.m. - 2019-07-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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