cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get shit ready Christa came the closest of anyone in years to redeeming me from the hell that I live in. Do I have the strength to talk to her again? I don't think so right now. I feel like she hates me and I can't face whatever judgement she lays at me. I need to obtain the substances necessary to kill me without physical pain. It's time to get serious about having the means to make this end at my will. That isn't to say that I am going to kill myself -- I just to be able to do so if things get bad enough in this nightmare of pestilence and isolation. 5:14 a.m. - 2021-02-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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