cellini's Diaryland Diary

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I had a career

I am still carrying all kinds of shit from when my brake lines were cut and someone tried to kill me. My heart is still broken. I am not ok. I am a fucking mess and I am not functional as a human being.

I spent an important part of my life fighting white supremacists. I gave a year of my life to this. And I am now totally fucked up and not functional because of that. I am a broken, stupid, useless thing because I thought that it would be a good idea to spend a year fighting neo-nazis.

Nobody gives a fuck what happened to me. I am nothing. Nothing that I ever did has any value. I should have sat all of that shit out and focused on my career as a science journalist. I wrote for Sm1ths0nian. I was somebody. I had a career. I could have mattered if I'd have just given the finger to all that shit that seemed so important.

3:46 a.m. - 2021-04-14

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