cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope it is cancer. I have this spot on my lower jaw. On my right lower jaw, just under the canine. It feels rough and aggravated and has for years. It's getting worse. Sometimes I wonder if it is cancer. If it is, I don't care. I know that there isn't a long term future for me. My retirement account was long since spent when my son had a head injury (Thanks to my wife) and everything was spent. Honestly, a future without cancer scares me a lot more than one with having cancer again. I have no assets, I have no future. I'm ok with having head cancer. I'm not going to get this checked out. There's no future where I have health insurance and a decent place to live and someone who holds my hand during chemo. There is no happy future. I write my stuff and I leave a legacy and then I die. If it is cancerous, and if it metastasizes, then I will purchase a large amount of heroin and I will overdose on it. I don't have hope anymore. There's no normal place to live. Going to work every day with nice, supportive people and a common goal. That doesn't exist. There are no jobs for anyone like me anymore. I am not a real person. 3:58 a.m. - 2021-07-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||