cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Somehow both more complicated and less complicated She's not pregnant. Alex and Lindsay are in open war with each other. Alex has a gash on the back of her neck from Lindsay hitting her a few days ago. Lindsay knows that Alex and I are seeing each other again and my name is an epithet from Lindsay's mouth. Every relationship that Alex has been in since she was about 22 has been violent or really fucked up. I think that I am the first person she has ever been involved with for more than a few months who does not erupt in anger or hit her. Lindsay still won't move out, but inches closer every day. She has a big flock of chickens on Alex's big parcel of land. Where would she go that she can bring the fucking chickens? And not have to pay rent? And keep not paying Alex for her hours working for their in-home nursing care business for high-end clients? Alex racks up thousands of dollars in hours, and Lindsay runs the books and just leaves out Alex's wages as optional. They hate each other. They really, really hate each other. Interspersed with watching TV together as some sort of stand-in for a relationship. Alex won't kick Lindsay out because she needs her to help pay the mortgage, and Lindsay won't leave because she can't go anywhere that will accept 30 chickens and a few dogs. But at least we're at Alex telling Lindsay that we are dating and having sex with each other. Maybe being openly cuckolded will get Lindsay the fuck out of town. And also Lindsay is having a thing with a man whom they know, in spite of being very gay, and staying up all night with him and proclaiming that if she was straight this would be the man for her. Just fucking hook up with him and have another relationship where you don't want to actually have sex with your partner but where he can incorporate that into his Catholic guilt and your non-sex situation will be normal. Alex is not pregnant. She had a scare and was five days late. I considered the situation and was fully prepared to do the right thing. We're going to Richmond together on Saturday. Hitting thrift stores and then going to a really good gun store. Alex wants something like a compact 9mm handgun for concealed carry because she has been surrounded by violent assholes for most of her life. I would like a new #1 bolt action deer rifle. I sold my signature stainless steel Remington Model 700 bolt action with a 19" barrel and a detatchable magazine about five years ago because I needed the money for groceries and because I stopped trusting the 700 due to accidental discharges when the safety was released. It went bang twice when I didn't want it to, and I will never own another Remington rifle on account of that. I have some sported up Mausers and and a scoped Mark 3 Enfield. But right now I don't have a proper deer/elk/bison rifle and I am tempted to remedy the situation. Also a few days ago I gave Ida, my daughter, a 1937 Russian Mosin Nagant M44 carbine for defense of her apartment. I need to pick up a box of ammo for her. She has been shooting bolt actions since she was five years old. I should point out here that I am entirely opposed to mainstream gun culture and the militia idiocy which has infected it. The militias of the 19th century had their officers elected along with mayors and sheriffs and dogcatchers. Nobody elected the asshats who head units of the Oathkeepers or the 3 percenters. I wanted my kids to be capable people who could take care of themselves and deal with any situation on their own. Do a brake job, butcher a deer, zero a rifle scope, cook a beef wellington, fix the dishwasher. Defend themselves against a neo-nazi assault and shoot back. Harry wants me to pick up a Remington 10/22 semiauto. I find semiautos, in particular Remington semiautos, a big pain in the ass to disassemble and reassemble. He wants it for small game and the wealth of recipes around that. Meanwhile I've gone no contact with Libby and I feel really badly about it. I need to email her and try for a situation where we are friends. I think that Alex would really like her. Libby is a wonderful person and I don't want to throw her away. A few weeks ago I reconnected with Janine, whom I have known for about 10 years, when I found a baby squirrel that was basically dying. I texted her because she had been a veterinary assistant for years before becoming a mortician. I've been off social media for a few years now and out of touch with everyone. The squirrel died. I've been meeting up with Janine a few times a week and she feels like she is dating me. We go out and do cool shit. Catfishing, crabbing, going to concerts. And of course nice restaurants along the way. I'm a good time, and she is coming along for it, and I can feel her waiting for me to kiss her every time I drop her off at home. Mary, whom I have known since I was 8, is about to leave her husband. He is hitting her. We had a two hour conversation a few days ago and I will stab the living shit out of her piece of shit husband if I ever see him in person again. She is trying to court me as the next man in waiting. She repeatedly brought up us sleeping together in the same bed from right before she ended up with him. Emily has asked me to sire a child on her many times. We fucked a lot the first night we got together, which was because she saw me on TV and then found me on social media and invited me to a New Years Eve party at a marina. We seem to end up making out a lot when she is drunk. She keeps asking me to get her pregnant but at 44 its finally less likely. Alex fucked her hair up by trying to dye it and parts of it ended up sorta orange. So I hooked her up with an appointment with Emily tomorrow morning to get fix it. What will happen when Alex sits with Emily for over an hour and they talk about me? I'm supposed to hang out with Janine on Saturday evening. I'm bringing Alex to Richmond with me and they are going to meet. Me and Mary should probably never be a thing. She was literally left on the doorstep of Mother Theresa and was delivered to her adoptive parents by Mother Theresa, as was her adoptive (and now very alcoholic) brother, who is also a very close friend of old of mine. Alex and Mary would probably really like each other. I hope that they will. I am with Alex now and I cannot be Mary's fated cause to leave the man who beats her. I can be her friend, her ally, her ride out of there. When it rains it pours. All of these women from my past are suddenly here for me all at once. I am trying to do the right thing. I have known Alex since I was 14, and I love her. What I would like is for all of this shit to be stable enough to bring Alex to Thanksgiving dinner next month. Free and clear of Lindsay and definitively my girlfriend after 31 years of waiting. Everything is somehow both more complicated and less complicated. I know what to do, even though she doesn't really deserve it. 3:45 a.m. - 2022-10-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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