cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex is being an asshole. My book is just about finished after three and a half years of work. I had a group of beta readers look at it and based on their feedback I cut 9,000 words and reorganized the chapters. I've filled in all but 3 TKs and this is a book in being. I just need a new group of beta readers to read it and if they agree that this is a readable book then I'm moving on to finally selling it. Any decent book about New York City history has a guaranteed audience of at least a hundred thousand readers so once I clear the beta approval threshold I think I am in good shape. My first assignment for SP1N Magazine is underway. The interview with the band (GW@R) is this Friday. If this goes well, four articles a month would pay the bills. An old friend who was one of the founding editors was brought back to reinvigorate the magazine and he asked me to start writing for them Alex is about to start a new job in about 20 days. This should free her from Lindsay's rule. Two days ago she said that I should marry her to get on her health insurance. I took it as something heart-felt, and said that I want to work towards that but that first we need to get to know each other's families and do some period of the normal dating thing. Then suddenly tonight she texted me that she needs to be alone and just deal with her various dramas by herself. It says something that I am mostly numb to this shit. If she can deal with her situation enough to have a real relationship with me, then great. But I have a book to sell and a life to restart. I have a really fucking great book to sell. I have a shot at getting back into the mainstream media world of news and books and radio and TV deals. I'm not letting Alex's stupid drama fuck with my plan. She was the hottest, coolest girl in high school. She became an icon to me when she was a young mother. I have fantasized about her since I was 14 years old. And I have fucked her, and spanked her, and kissed her perfect ears and her perfect chin, and told her how much I love her. If she wants to push off into her late forties as a single, isolated woman, then that is her decision. Aging like Sophia Lauren doesn't mean much when you are not Sophia Lauren and when you pull back from all social contact. I hope that Alex figures it out and that we end up happily ever after together. But that isn't even part of my main hope for my future. I just want to sell this book for enough money, hopefully in a multi-book deal, that I can rent a place in Richmond for a few years and write my sequel about The @llen, who was the most magnificent anti-hero in American history. If she wants to be a part of that future, great. I'm not waiting around for her. She can work through her shit either with me or without me but I'm not crying over this one. 3:57 a.m. - 2023-03-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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