cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm getting surgery, also some group sex stuff I did it. I scheduled surgery for my left arm, with the right arm to follow after recovery from the first operation. Unfortunately, the soonest that I could get scheduled was for late September. So 2 more months of suffering to go. After 2 months I get to start a whole new level of even more intense pain, until I recover and hopefully can start living my intended life again. They are going to put me under general anesthesia, so I won't even be aware of what is happening. To be brutally honest, I am terrifed of this whole thing. I'm horrified at the idea of being cut open. I just don't know what else to do. I am about ready to smack the shit out of my mother for her constant nagging about my grass not being mown and the roof of my workshop not being finished. In the first place, none of this shit is any of her business since its my house. And in the second place, I am in constant pain and doing any of those types of work with my arms could cause the damaged tendons to tear the rest of the way through. I don't want to be defined by pain any more. I want to be defined by the things that I make and build and plant and maintain. There's other drama going on this week that I don't even really want to get into writing about in detail. Essentially, Trish was all gung ho to respond to a Craig's List ad from another couple. Which we did. And they are really nice and attractive and well-educated and interesting people. We've been emailing for the last week or so. And we are supposed to meet up with them for a drink - nothing more, just a drink to meet in person - on Friday. But suddenly she's flipping out and saying she wants to cancel and that the whole idea of having a drink with these people makes her sick. What. The. Fuck. This is not what I signed up for. In fact, looking for couples on CL to fuck was HER IDEA in the first place. Not something that I pressured her into. What a fucking bitchy tease. It's rude to me and it's rude to these nice people. I'm especially disappointed here because they are really interesting and I would have liked to hang out with them, even with the possible resulting sex aside. He's a scientist in a field that I have always been interested in and she is a librarian specializing in preservation of rare/old archives. I would LOVE to talk to both of these people since this is all my kind of shit. They would be great new friends to have. But no, instead Trish just fucked the whole thing up out of nowhere. Hemingway wrote that women make very good friends, but only if you are in love with them first. I suppose that helps, but he hasn't gotten it quite right. What I do think is very much true is that a dangling sort of possibility of sex, spoken or unspoken, can make people get along particularly well and serve to cement a friendship that can last even after the sexual tension disappears. I just want a little more sexual tension in the air. Is that so wrong? 12:35 p.m. - 2009-07-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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