cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Wrong Editor My editor is being retarded about the new book. She's doing exactly what I was worried she would do, which is to strip out everything that makes it marketable and turn it into a fucking 'how-to' book. Because that is the only genre she has any experience with. She is very good at editing that type of book. But that isn't what this is and she doesn't know what the fuck to do with it. You'd think that they could give me some benefit of the doubt here. I get more press -- positive press -- than all of their other authors combined. And I have been doing that for years now. When I say 'do XYZ and we'll get major media coverage with free advertising' I know what I'm talking about. My first book with them is selling very well. I set them up for a big order -- which they just got -- from the biggest outdoor retailer in the US. With no reserve against returns. You'd think that this would earn me some kind of respect in the editorial process. But no, they are trying to strip out everything that will make this book a part of the national conversation when it comes out. Everything about it that will get me invited on the Daily Show. Instead, they want 'more recipes.' Jesus. How many recipes for igu@na do we really need here? Its not a cook book. They whole point is that it tastes like fucking chicken. You don't need special recipes for it. They really don't pay me well enough to deal with this stupid shit. The hungrier I literally am, the less compelling these stupid emails from my editor become. I am hungry. We're low on cheese and milk and I don't have any way to get more. I save the milk for the kids, so my coffee is black right now. I don't touch the cereal since they need that, too. We have a bunch of fish that I caught with my net the other day, and a good bit of pork in the freezer from the pigs that I helped Bob butcher. Also a few chickens that we slaughtered last week. But a diet of 100% meat really isn't quite the thing for long. I'm craving fruit and vegetables and all I have is some lemon juice. We have a sack of sugar left and I made root beer today. I make root beer about once every week or two with wild sassafras that I dig up in the woods. It will be nice to drink something other than water for a change but it won't be ready to drink for a few days. Needs to carbonate. We're almost out of flour, which means no more bread soon. Its getting difficult to pack lunches for Ida to take to school. All we have is meat. The real trouble will be when the toilet paper and detergent and things like that run out. I can't make any of those things myself with what I have on hand. I have to spend more and more of my time literally figuring out how to survive the next 24 hours. When I get these stupid emails from my editor I'm answering them less and less quickly. I don't value her opinion about this book very much and its hard to care what someone like her thinks about anything when you don't know what your children are going to eat tomorrow. She shouldn't have taken this book on. This publisher shouldn't have bought this book. I knew this was going to be a bad fit and I only took the offer because my agent had fucked up so badly and didn't shop it at all and I had to either take this offer or shelf the project. The shitty budget they offered was another reason I should have passed on it. Its a bad situation all around. They probably only took it to keep me in their stable so I'll write more how-to books for them. 3:49 a.m. - 2011-09-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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