cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brought in as a Closer? Well, holy shit. This consulting thing could work out extremely well. I was just asked if I would be willing to be brought in as a 'closer' for an agency that has very, very big deals with multi-billion dollar companies that are household names. I would go on a really intense trip for maybe a week at a time, once every couple of months. Lots of meetings, answering questions, explaining things. Then I go home and do whatever I want until they need me again. For this, I would be paid far more than I have been making as a full-time salary sitting at a desk all day. So yeah, I'd say my meeting this morning went pretty well. I was also asked again to do some training and speaking events for this other large company. That would be just a few times a year but it would be enough money to buy us a couple of new cars (which we kind of need pretty badly). Wow. When it rains, it pours. Quitting my job may very well turn out to be the smartest decision I ever made. I get the weirdest, most random email from people. In the last 12 hours alone I have received personal email (not spam) from 5 different people whom I do not know from Adam. Sometimes this is kind of fun but other times they act like we know each other and make all sorts of assumptions and I don't know what the fuck they are talking about. They've read my stuff and seen articles about me or something on TV and they forget that I don't know who they are. __________________ All day long I go back and forth. Huge optimism, endless horizons of opportunity. Comfort, greatness. Then I suddenly feel like this is going to be a total disaster and I'm terrified of not having enough money to pay the bills and buy food. Trish has already burned through most of my first book advance installment and I'm going to have to hide the rest from her. I find myself paralyzed. Staring at the screen without being able to muster the stuff to do what needs to be done. Organize another class, update my resume, deal with email. Maybe I can get this consulting thing going early. I'm still not sure how much to charge. I managed to pull my shit together today to the extent of getting my training curriculum about 60% finished. It is fortunate that I am going to be training my replacement and a back-up, because this will be a good dry run for the training that I'll be selling. I just don't want another winter like the last few. I'll end up fucking killing myself. The utter despair of having neither food nor heat with children in the house is something that I will do anything to avoid. 10:00 a.m. - 2010-07-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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