cellini's Diaryland Diary

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Prince Humperdinck Has Nothing On This

Well fuckity fuck fuck. I got an email from my book editor a few hours ago asking if I could please kindly have revisions done on the entire rest of the book within the next week. That would be great, except that I've got a class happening next weekend and am going fucking crazy getting organized for it, plus I have this article running in the NY Times next week instead of 3 weeks from now like I'd figured and I have to have the sample chapters and the proposal fucking polished and ready to go for when the article goes to print so that my agent can instantly capitalize on the publicity and sell the book way earlier than I had hoped.

I would honestly rather wait another month before trying to sell this new book but I don't think I have that choice. The smart thing to do is to strike when the iron is hot, which will be the first few days following the publication of that article in the Times. Which means running myself ragged to get those chapters into shape.

Then there is the TV thing. Since for some stupid reason I can't put the pilot/teaser/whatever out on the internet and let the Times link to it like they want to, I need SOMETHING for network executives to look at when they click around to see if I'm someone they should pick up for a show. That means having to rush out the video of me doing shit with the green igu@nas and edit it into a piece to post on Youtube and post that to my blog a few hours before the Times runs the article.

All this over the next week, plus de-boning the last book I wrote before it goes into illustration. Yeah, fucking great.

None of this is optional. That's the problem. Its all mandatory for this whole master plan to succeed so I can finally get paid and have a proper house to live in with heat and closets. I've been planning this media boomlet with the goose thing since last July and its actually kind of amazing that its come together as well as it has. Its all just happening a bit too much at once.

Oh yeah, the geese. I need more. So amongst all of the writing and editing and video production and emails and management and dealing with students I have to somehow find and kill between 2 and 4 Canada geese that we will be serving to the good people of NYC at the end of the month. You don't even want to know how I'm planning to get that taken care of. It will probably involve a balaclava and code words.

Right, and the actual presentation. Huh. Yeah. I'm supposed to talk for 2 hours and I have prepared ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I need to outline and practice what I'm actually going to say to this theater kitchen full of people in NYC who have all paid $30 a head to listen to me and eat my wild geese.

What's left here? Maybe showing up for the event and then realizing that I'm not wearing any clothes.

7:25 p.m. - 2010-10-15

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