cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- She is Brilliant Oh my God, Helenah just had the most brilliant idea ever. So I have this residency at an organic ranch in Texas in November that I applied for and was awarded. We were talking about how cool it would be if she could come and film for at least a few days while I'm there. The problem is that officially I'm not allowed to have guests at the ranch. And of course she is on just as low a budget as I am. Then we were talking about her maybe driving out there with me. We could take an extra day for the road trip and stop in New Orleans and take our time driving along the Gulf coast. And she could spend a few days and then fly home. But of course there is the cost of air fare. Then today she just had the most brilliant idea ever. She is going to apply for the same residency at the ranch. I mean, she's perfect for it. She does environment@l film making. She is exactly the type of artist that they want out there. We could spend the whole two weeks together. She is fucking brilliant. If this works then you know what that means? TWO WEEKS OF NON-STOP HELENAH! I could wake up to her every single morning. I could hear her voice every day. I had no idea that life could be like this. I had no idea that it was even possible to be this happy. In fact, if I had the choice between having this with Helenah for one year before dropping dead versus living another 100 years the way that I had been living, I would take the one year with Helenah and then die happy. _________________
She got defensive for a moment and was going after me for having so often tried to get her to come with me when I do things outdoors and for having pouted in the past about her not sharing any interests with me. And then I said, "look, that's the whole point. I don't have to whine at you about that any more because now I have someone willing to do this with me. I know its not fair for me to expect you to be interested in things you just don't care about. I'm adding something to my life with Helenah - not taking anything away from you." Then Trish said, "and she just happens to be beautiful, blond and Swedish?" "Well, yes. That helps. It helps a lot actually. Although I've always generally preferred brunettes." She doesn't seem to be angry at me right now, although that could change. What I'm dreading is if she has some sort of big emotional break-down before we can really hash everything out, and then she goes and calls her mother or something and gets the rest of the family involved. Trish and I still have a lot more to discuss. And I think it needs to happen soon. Preferably this evening. I haven't told her yet that I am actually head over heels in love with Helenah. But its pretty obvious. Even when she isn't around. Trish must know that I am in love with Helenah. I'm making no effort at all to hide the fact. When Helenah and I are actually together, everyone can sense that we're in love. Its like we're glowing or something. This happens everywhere we go together. People look at the way we stand next to each other and the way we look at each other and they assume that we are a couple. The producer of the TV show that was filming yesterday asked me how long she and I had been married. It has felt like this since we first met in person. By the end of the very first afternoon that we spent together, we moved like a couple. She is pitching her thesis film right this minute. She has been so nervous about it but she'll be fine. I still think its ridiculous that a former news anchorwoman is frightened of talking in front of a dozen people but she probably can't help feeling this way. I look forward to getting to the point where Helenah and I can have very frank conversations about what is going on between us. The epic greatness of this must have occurred to her. Because its not just about us per se. Its about how perfectly matched we are in terms of what we are trying to do with out lives. We can do truly great things together, environmentally and artistically. We can be one of those great power couples like Dali and Gala, Mary and Percy Shelley, or Allen Ginzberg and Peter Orlovsky 2:10 p.m. - 2011-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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