cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Six days Six days without alcohol. It's going well. Last night Natalie mentioned that I look better than I have in months. Less stress, more sleep, no alcohol all probably have something to do with that. I went to this party/fundraiser thing for HIV awareness and treatment last night because friends of mine were putting it on. I was sort of supposed to be Kerri's date, but she came with her husband and then some of his co-workers from the University were there (he's a professor) and they do not want people at his work to know that they are a couple of poly perverts. This was both good and bad. Bad, because it is fun going out somewhere and having people see Kerri making out with me while holding her husband's hand and they both have wedding rings on. Like, they are shocked and it's kind of hot. The co-workers being there was good, because Lauren was also there. And whatever this thing is with us, it continued to smolder. We spent the whole first part of the party together and snuck out for a cigarette together (I'm letting myself have one every few days). Then towards the end she asked me to walk her to her car, even though downtown Ch@rlottesville is perfectly safe at night. And we talked about music and I mentioned how every so often I'll go on a mission to find new music in some obscure genre and spend six hours straight listening to at least the first minute of hundreds of songs on Youtube just to get that dozen or so amazing pieces of music that are new to me. And then she was gushing about how she does the same thing. And we talked about where we want to travel next. We stood by her car for a few minutes in the moonlight talking before she left, and there as a moment where it kinda felt like I should kiss her, but I didn't. In part because it wasn't explicitly a date and I'm still not entirely sure that she is interested in me romantically and I don't want to fuck things up. But we looked each other in the eyes and it sure felt like a kiss-her-now moment. I'll ask her out on an actual, un-ambiguous date soon and if it feels right on a real date then I'll do it. Had Lauren seen me making out with Kerri, that might have killed this whole thing. I don't feel like I'm being dishonest because Kerri and I are somewhat on the DL anyway on account of her being married and polyamorous. And that relationship comes with a clear limitation. Also, Lauren and I still aren't actually dating. Kerri would have no problem with me having something going on with Lauren. And if an actual relationship starts with Lauren then I will amicably end things with Kerri if Lauren wants me to (which would probably be the case, but on the other hand she was talking favorably about poly stuff last week, so I dunno). Honestly, I don't actually want to be 'polyamorous' per se. I want one primary relationship with a woman, in which neither of us is romantically involved with anyone else. Fucking other people with each other's permission would be fine with me, but there's a line I'd prefer not to cross. Today I received requests from theaters in NC and SC to screen my film. One backed by a Democratic Congressional candidate and the other by a law firm. How much do I even charge for this? My investors get 100% of the revenue from the film until they have gotten 130% of their investment back, and then we start sharing. It only cost $25k to make this movie, so that will happen fast. We've agreed that I can roll a $1k speaking fee into screenings from day one for me to travel with the film and do talk-backs, otherwise I wouldn't have any incentive to hit the road and promote it. For a theater over 1,000 seats doing a special event, I think maybe we should charge $5k total, with $1k of that being my speaking fee and the remainder going to the investors. That way they are making a third of their investment back on just two screenings. If the theater charges $10 a ticket, they still clear $5k on one night. And this film will sell out theaters. 7:54 p.m. - 2017-12-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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