cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I should die I often think about what Helenah would have made of things that I see or that happen to me. I think about how I would tell her what happened to me on a given day. I've veered so far off now. So many terrible things have happened to me. I've watched people beat one another in the street. I've gone from place to place around the US while I was investigating neo-Nazis. I've been targeted personally in devastating ways. She couldn't possibly fathom what I have been through now. The things that I have been through are so painful and absurd that no woman could comprehend the horror of what I have experienced. There is no other end. There is no exit from I have lived through. Nobody gives a shit, nobody wants to help. There is no one from my past who even wants to come to the rescue. I should die. That is where shit is at. I should die. A person should not have to exist with this particular burden. I should not exist any longer. 12:49 a.m. - 2020-02-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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