cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to go home to one woman. I spend my spare time pruning. I have a pair of pruners in the drivers side door compartment of my car. For the last few years, since the start of the pandemic, I have been seeing to things on city streets. Cutting back vines and branches of trees that grow out over sidewalks. This is something that I do almost compulsively. On the rare occasion that anyone asks, I am not a city employee. I am a vigilante There are about two miles of a public trail along the river that I maintain several time a week. Last week a storm brought down trees and limbs everywhere, both in the park at its head and along the trail I began dragging limbs away in the park. Tidying things up. I walked the trail, and cut a path through a great tree down over the path. Four different people thanked me that day. Not so many thanked me in over two years of doing this before. Alex doesn't show up in person. She's cheating on her girlfriend, whom she lied about leaving. I slightly respond to her texts about what is happening in her life. I have a good existence, in many ways. I go to thrift stores. I buy, or more often do not buy, art. I look for 19th century ceramics, alone. I buy CDs. I go to restaurants. Alone. I go to concerts, alone. I am so fucking sick of being alone. Isn't this supposed to be fun for so many women? A boyfriend who likes to go to thrift stores, and look for art, and go to museums, and restaurants, and sleep in, and then wake up and snuggle? I don't know anyone here, in this city, anymore. It has become too expensive, too gentrified. I had so many friends. All gone. It took me an hour to walk from one end of the Downtown Mall to the other on a Friday night because I had to stop so many times to say hello to people. Now I wander like an idiot among total strangers. I'm writing a book that will matter. I've written things that have changed American culture. I stood at the corner of Lee Park for an hour in the middle of hell. I have done my tour of duty and I don't understand why I still have to go through shit and be alone at the end. I would just like to go home to one woman. I want to go home. 4:26 a.m. - 2022-08-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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