cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will never fail any other woman in a relationship so long as I will live. I am re-watching season 4 of Breaking Bad. It is kind of painful to watch how Walt has this one moment of telling Skyler he loves her, reaps the brief benefit of that, and then just has no idea of how to follow it up. Just tell your wife what is happening in your life. Even with the basic outlines. Tell her you love her. Make dinner. Give her a back rub. Fucking listen to her without waiting to speak. Actually listen. I'm at this point where I've absorbed all of the possible lessons about how to fuck up a relationship with a woman whom you love. And how to do everything right. It comes while I've totally written off having anything to do with the toxicity of dating apps. I'm not doing anything to meet anyone at all. I am completely ready to commit myself to a woman who shows up, is affectionate, sexually compatible, and has intellectual interests that kinda line up with mine. My poor ex-wife. Trish is increasingly frumpy and awkward. Watching this, there is actually nobody who could have been as ok with this as I would have been. Is it possible for someone to have adult-onset Asbergers Syndrome? Because that is her. She is socially retarded and increasingly awkward as fuck with major protagonist syndrome. Alex sent a perfunctory message a few days ago saying that she is waiting for the time to send a proper response. After I asked her what the fuck? And why is she being such a monumental asshole and not communicating with me? This is the fruit of trying to be in a relationship with someone my own age. If I were to date 15 years younger I would not be dealing with this bullshit. What I should be doing is dating women ten years younger than me. A woman in her mid-thirties who wants kids in the next few years. I started to write, "women in their mid-thirties," but I don't want more than one woman. I just want one woman to devote myself to. The relationship lessons of Breaking Bad are myriad. It is a masterclass in how to fuck everything up while being a total asshole. I will never fail any other woman in a relationship so long as I will live. 1:55 a.m. - 2023-05-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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