cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Good Lindsay. A few nights before I got married, we played this at top volume: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilG8u8Rb0_U I sang all the songs on the radio promo CD for that shit. Out loud. Like nobody was watching. What a cavalcade of sound. I felt that so fully. I fucking blasted that shit when I was a 17 year old kid. I was almost 21 when I was about to be married. I loved my wife so much. I sang this that night after the rehearsal dinner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUwJ2lgqKX4 There is a very large part of me that is still hoping that she will suddenly wake up and come back to me. But she has acquired this adult-onset asbergers syndrome. Someone whom I loved and tried to devote myself to and gave everything to and suffered for has become a total fucking idiot. A frumpy, socially retarded, boring fucking idiot. I have always been sexually attracted to middle-aged women. This was supposed to be the best part of a lifelong relationship. And she's gone and fucked it all up by being a complete fucking idiot right when we would have been peaking. I sang this one, really hitting the high notes on "you know that you'd be lying," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJBzr3zxDSM The good Lindsay doesn't want me to come over because she is living with her supposed ex-husband as a roommate. I'm trying again to be the one who does everything right, but we can't cook together because her (really? Ex?) husband will feel bad? She came out with me to forage in the shallows of the river a few nights ago. She doesn't want me to come over to cook the crayfish that we caught because her "ex" might be unhappy. It just sounds like bullshit. I think that this is just one more woman indulging in an elaborate fantasy at my expense. Like Alex. Just visiting the fun world that J@ckson L@nders has to offer without actually committing to anything. I'm a good time and a fun sherpa along the river after dark and a flattering thank-you from the band and maybe a free drink. The "good Lindsay" has to prove herself this weekend or I'm going to move on. 4:30 a.m. - 2023-06-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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