cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Revelations How common are moments of revelation? I mean on a profound, metaphysical level? I am seriously wondering if these are experiences that are common to all humans or if I got something special in having 2 of them so far in my life. The first, which I've written about here a bunch of times before, was after taking LSD. I'd dropped acid many times before, but this time I did so alone and with the specific intention of meditating and curing myself of depression (which worked). I experienced what I thought of at the time as 'divine cellular consciousness.' The next day I was absolutely bursting with inspiration and thrilled with the very idea of existence. It was indeed a moment of profound revelation that changed my life and affected me for a long time afterward. Which it was a different sort of revelation. The first one was seeing a sort of interconnectedness of things and taking joy in the whole universe. But this incident with the deer when Simon was miraculously cured served as proof. A lot of people talk about their 'faith' in God or in a particular religion or idea about how the universe is organized. I am not among them, because I had proof right in front of my eyes that something is going on up there. Faith is the belief in something without direct evidence. Having witnessed that direct evidence, I have little need of 'faith.' I have had any number of smaller examples of such magic in the course of a hunt, but never anything so dramatic as Simon being cured of paralysis. And now, to be entirely honest, this is a big part of why I continue to hunt. Sure, the food is also important. But what drives me more than anything else to go out on the hunt again and again is the addictive nature of magic. Predation IS my religion. Nowhere in modern life does God appear to descend from the heavens and intervene directly so frequently as he does for the hunter. I feel ready for part 3. A third revelation. Maybe something that will tie the last 2 together? I don't know. But I do feel that I need a third revelation to make the book work. The book about all of this that I have taken various stabs at. I need a third revelation for the end. I'm waiting. 1:20 p.m. - 2009-07-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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