cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fixing It No. I don't want to just end this. I am not walking away. We are going to work this out. Trish has some retarded friend who is calling her 5 times a day to give her really shitty advice about the whole situation. I can say with authority that the advice is shitty, because this woman is still a virgin at the age of 27 and has never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in her entire life. She know absofuckinglutely nothing about any of this. Let alone about what it takes to maintain a marriage over the decades or how to prioritize for your children. I'm sure that she means well but she should just shut the fuck up about topics that she cannot speak to. The problem with advice that one gets from single friends in this kind of situation is that is that its all about "you and your happiness are the most important thing." Which is bullshit. My happiness is not the most important thing to me. And her happiness shouldn't be the most important thing to her. That is the whole fucking point of marriage. We are making each other -- and then our children -- the priorities in our lives. If I was some abusive asshole then I guess that I could understand. But I am not. I have never raised a hand against her. I don't berate her or humiliate her. The worst that I do is to continually complain when she goes weeks or months on end without lifting a finger around the house or contributing anything to the running of the household. This is nothing. And furthermore, the sex thing should be minor as well. Ok, I want to get laid more and better than I have been. She wants to have sex with women. Fine. We'll just both have sex with other women sometimes and that will be that. I don't see why this needs to be complicated. I am not going to be a jealous asshole about her dating women. And if either of us was going to be jealous, then this would come up just as much so if we split up. I don't want a divorce or a separation. I want to do whatever is necessary for both of us to be happier while remaining married. ___________________ I'm almost ready to send the new book off to be sold to publishers. I was in the NY Times today and have been getting a bunch of email resulting from that, which I can't even bring myself to read. It is so hard to work right now in the middle of horrible heartbreak. And yet I have to keep going. This is a very hard time. This might be the worst time in my entire life to date. How could she be willing to give all of this up so easily? I gave this woman my whole life. 8:31 p.m. - 2011-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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