cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Obsessing over Amazon Rankings Am I a bad person for wanting to stick my tongue out at the editors at other publishing houses who passed on this book and go 'nyeh nyeh nyeh!'? Number 3 hunting book on Amazon! Number 56 in 'outdoor recreation!' And this is before I've done any launch publicity for it whatsoever. I am so jazzed. Its past 4 am and I really need to go to sleep already but I'm too tiddly over this auspicious start to my book sales. And now I still need to finish this other book in the next 5 days or whatever and I can see that I am definitely not going to make that deadline. Maybe strong sales figures for the first book will blunt any anger from my editor. Is it really going to sell well? I always just assumed that it would but then for the last few weeks I've been suddenly paranoid and wondering 'what if the sales just suck and nobody buys it?' Seriously, then what? If the deer book flops then my career writing books would be over. I would have to go find another desk/day job and leave the adventuring behind. For the rest of my life I'd look back at this past year as the one time when I really gave it my best. With the haze of hindsight, 2010-2011 would become the crowning, golden moment of my life and the long-lost land of adventure never to be regained. I could spend the rest of my life telling the same stories about the crazy shit that I got up to during that one year when I quit my job and drove around the country hunting and fishing for weird shit and being kind of famous and being on TV and filming a pilot and too damn bad it all fell apart. I'd rather that not happen. I want for the best to be yet to come. I want to spend a month just sort of fucking around in Australia. Another month bumming around the Caribbean. I want to host a documentary series for PBS and do cameo voice work on a Pixar cartoon. I want to keep sleeping late and not know what day of the week it is. I want to drive cross-country and stop in every state along the way to go fishing. I want to take a sleeper car in a train to New Orleans and then another one up to Montreal. I'd like to teach workshops in Berlin and give the keynote address in Munich. What I'm looking for doesn't even have to be fabulous wealth and major fame. I don't want serious fame, really. Just enough income from writing books and speaking to pay the bills and have health insurance again and travel regularly on a low budget, yet without having to worry about getting stranded thousands of miles form home without gas money. I'm looking for the means to fund a simple, exceptional life and I'm willing to earn it by letting the rest of the world live that life vicariously through my books. 4:10 a.m. - 2011-08-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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