cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh Shit I'm In Love Oh shit, I think I'm head over heels in love. Fuck fuck fuck. Helenah and I basically spent the last 3 days staring into each others eyes. This is tough. Because if I/we act on it and it doesn't go well then we still have this documentary to finish making and her thesis would be at stake. But I can't not act on it. I have just fallen completely in love with this woman. I ended up having a condo to stay in with a bunch of extra bedrooms. But she still put her things down in my bedroom and stayed in there with me, saying that when the other cameraman arrived the next night then he could stay in the other bedroom. Unfortunately that bedroom of our had bunk beds. She doesn't understand how American bedding works. I guess that they have different sheets and stuff in Sweden. So I made her bed for her and tucked her in every night. Every time I looked up, she was staring at me. Every time she looked up, I was staring at her. I could look at her all day long. She finds every possible reason to touch me. I'm not going to see her again until Wednesday. Ok, that's not too long. I can make it. She understands my whole situation regarding Trish. What I want is just some clear signal for me to proceed. I just want to kiss her. But if I kiss her and its unwanted then I'm fucking up her whole thesis. Or rather, I know that its wanted but I don't know if she is willing to act on it given the risk. Is there some ethical rule about documentary filmmakers becoming involved with or falling in love with their subjects? More about this weekend late. Right now I have to drive home. 6:14 p.m. - 2011-09-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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