cellini's Diaryland Diary

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An Ending

Its over. We just had what was probably the final conversation. I offered one last time to reconcile and save the marriage (including ending my relationship with Helenah, which relationship I should remind any readers that Trish actively encouraged in the first place) and she doesn't want to try. She freely acknowledges that this was all her doing and fault, starting with her coming out last New Year's Day.

The only things to discuss now are the details. How long to live together and maintain a single household (as long as possible, I hope).

This is all astoundingly sad and heartbreaking to me. Helenah is some comfort but at the end of the day the preservation of my family is more important to me than any woman outside of that family can possibly be. Hopefully some day Helenah will count as family.

I hate this. I hate what this will do to my children.

In the next few days everyone will know. My whole family. Some of Trish's family already knows. And then
I will have to withstand the disapproval and recriminations. As if this was even my decision. Divorce is simply not done in my family. Trish will not be coming out of the closet, meaning that blame will be assigned and I will look like an asshole.

The upshot is that after some period of decent interval, Helenah and I can be completely out in the open.

3:59 a.m. - 2011-11-21

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