cellini's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And she feels like home Let me say some more about what has happened since the rally/riot on August 12th. I have fallen in with the most wonderful group of friends I have ever known in my life. Eze @mos, a Nigerian photographer. I had worked with him before and we'd clicked right away. Eze and I were both in the most dangerous place possible during the rally/riot. In among the alt right and at the top of the steps in the park. Eze is as black as can be. Everything I did and everywhere I went, what he did with me was 100x braver. We ended up being everywhere at the same time all day. Before and during the riot, then at 4th street after the car hit. And then we collaborated in finding the helicopter crash. But it kept going, every day since. We were together at the 'press conference' where Kessler was forced to run like an animal. And at every meeting, press conference, march and rally for weeks after. Eze and I will be bonded together forever after that shared experience. My friend Sallah was at the periphery on the 12th, but has been almost everywhere since. He is half Pakistani and takes a lot of risks coming to most of these things. Then there is Natalie. Natalie and I met a few days before the 12th when she was assigned as a photographer to a story I was writing to cover the opening of a new LL Bean store. Within about 60 seconds I was bewitched. She was ready to do any weird shit to get good photos. A short, curvy woman with hair half bleached and half brunette. Following the 12th, she started to ask to work with me on various projects that ensued. First an investigation for a news agency I am working for, in which we are trying to demonstrate who ordered the police inaction on the 12th. Then when I put together this documentary film project about the 12th she also raised her hand and offered to help edit. With 4 hours of having the idea, I landed a berth at the Virginia F1lm Festival and found $25k in financing and also brought in a cinematographer Somehow, in the last week, we have completely insinuated every minute of our lives together. We go to meetings together, go out and drink together, eat together, imagine future projects and travel together. Today, she and I and Sallah drove up to Northern Virginia together to find the people marching from Charlottesville to DC to do interviews and film. We never once turned on the radio. Natalie and I just talked the entire time and never got bored. Turns out she is married. And she waited a damned long time to mention the fact. The group of people whom I have been surrounded with for the last 3+ weeks have become family. These are the co-workers I've craved for a long time. Photographers and cinematographers and other reporters. I love these people. I have been so tired -- worn out and sleep-deprived and battered from working over 100 hours a week. But I love being with these people day after day working on the most important civil rights stories of our generation. And in the middle of all that, I'm falling in love with Natalie. And a lot of little things suggest that this is going both way. And oh shit. This is the weirdly appropriate inverse echo of Helenah and I meeting. I was married to a closet case who was starting the process of walking out when Helenah appeared. And we went on these trips together while she was making a film about me and we fell in love, and then it got to the point where we couldn't not do anything about it any more. Now I'm single and this chick who is like the American version of Helenah has appeared. They even have the same weird blonde-and-brunette hair. Both short, curvy, well-travelled filmmakers who speak a bunch of different languages. And now we're on this series of road trips together and we cannot get enough of one another. So this time, do I steal the married person away from their on-the-way-out spouse? I have not felt this way about anyone since the day I met Helenah. This guy she is married to, I have nothing against him. But this thing has a force, like feeling a strong wind. We are going in this direction and I feel like I'm submitting to the story and I'm not in control any more. I look at her face, the shape of her cheeks, the curve of her hips, and it feels like home. 12:50 a.m. - 2017-09-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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