cellini's Diaryland Diary

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Dear Christa

Dear Christa,

It has been some months in which the pandemic has receded here, as people have been vaccinated.

I have not gotten back on to OKCupid or Tinder or anything else like that.

I have lived my life as a regular person. No social media of any kind. I'm like a cloud, drifting across the landscape.

Even though we've broken up in a clear fashion, I have not ventured out and fucked everyone in sight. I haven't fucked anyone, even though I could have. I dialed my head in to just being with you. I understand that we are over, but I want you to know that I would have been yours. I don't need to play the fool with anyone else. We would have gotten married and I would have been very happy with you indefinitely.

I think that I am headed for a heart attack and an early death. I have nothing and no one to live for. Literally, I have chest pains somewhat regularly.

I missed you a lot today when Ida got her first tattoo. You would have been such a hero today.

I wish you cared about my book and about what I think and do. If we still lived in the same place then we'd probably be getting married. But you don't give a fuck about what I write or do, and I'm just not that into reality TV. So now we are on different planets.

4:11 a.m. - 2021-07-12

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